Sunday, August 25, 2013

Doing things solo, like Hans

You want to see a movie, but have no one to go with. What do you do? Go alone!

Alone as a word sounds so scary and lonely. Change your perspective and it becomes wildly freeing. Because being alone and doing activities that you enjoy solo is not only fun, it can be a learning experience. This learning experience doesn't have to come about from a trip you took to Southeast Asia "to find yourself" it can be from that time you smuggled in a salad to the theatre after yoga to see This is the End. By hanging out with you, yourself and I, you get to experience how awesome you are and how much you enjoy your own company! Sometimes we all need a little reminder of what makes us who we are in this big world and sometimes we also need to touch base with who we are in this moment in time. And yet other times all of our friends are busy or being annoying and so you are left with no other options than to get breakfast by your damn self, a rather wonderful experience because you don't have to split your pancakes WITH ANYONE, NO ONE ELSE GETS THEM! 

You don't have to think about doing things with a party of one in the deep theme of learning about who you are blah blah, if you don't want. That's really only part of the equation. I think the larger more exciting reason to bite the bullet and adventure with only you as your companion is because 1. it is a blast 2. you are an exceptional human being and 3. no one is holding you back from doing what you want to do!

I've always enjoyed solitude, but haven't always been confident enough to go out and do activities that you generally associate with the need for a companion.

It all started when I studied abroad in London. I had so many things I wanted to see and do and moments I wanted to enjoy and reflect upon that a lot of time I found it easier to do this stuff on my own. Although, my alone time may have originated out of necessity, it quickly became an important development in my life.

Things really changed when I moved away to grad school. Again I was placed in a new situation with a big ass to-do list of sites, sounds and smells I wanted to revel in and revel I did. Instead of being intimidated by doing things alone in a new city I was unfamiliar with, I found it more comfortable to explore Hans Solo because it felt wild and independent and grown up. And these thoughts drove my experiences. The more I do things alone, the more comfortable I am with the feeling and the more I let myself truly embrace my friendship with me! It's cool dudes, very cool. I would say come join me sometime, but that is really opposite to what I am advocating here. Go be by yourself and we can be by ourselves together!

Doing movies, museums, coffee shops, bookstores, etc. on my own feels like a breeze now. It took me a while to get there, for sure, but now that I've made it, I want to push my limits even more. Over the last few months I traveled to Europe alone (!) and went to a baseball game with JUST ME. Both of these feats felt like I had conquered the world. In those moments, I was like the original gangsta. I AM the original gangsta and you can be too!

Does it not hurt that I am single with no loving male companion to accompany me on trips that would fit quite nicely with a boyfriend? The answer is YES, but I don't like to think of a life that means having a boyfriend is synonymous with having no alone time, because that is terrifying. I am embrace my singledom! She says meekly standing in a corner alone at a party slurping down glasses of wine. No really, I do, for the most part. However, when I do enter into a super great relationship, it shall be known from the getgo that Hans Solo time is a part of who I am and needs to stay around. And I will encourage my Charlie Hunnam look - a - like boyfriend to partake in his own alone time activities as well. We will both benefit from it. And then we will get married and have a fabulous life, so there everyone!

Maybe all this alone nonsense is old news to you. Maybe you dine solo five nights a week.

But for those of you who think this all sounds disgustingly unappetizing, those of you who call everyone in your phone book to see the new Fast and Furious movie with you (Is it like the 17th one or something? Not, just kidding and trying to look cool. I know definitively there have only been 6 and each one has their own merits), give yourself a run for your money! Being alone can be delicious.

Seriously, just do it. You'll understand how independent you can be and how much you like your own company...I hope. If not, call your bestie STAT!

No comments:

Post a Comment